After Shock
by Centalope
Summary: One-shot: Post-Star Trek 2009. Spock just lost his planet and his mother. Everyone on the ship gets a taste of the reason why Vulcan's have to supress their emotions. Warning: Spock is violent in some parts, and both him and Jim are hurt.


McCoy was in the sickbay. His sickbay. For once in his god damn life the whole place was empty, and he was surprisingly feeling happy about that. He needed a break.

Then the communicator went off. The doctor rolled his eyes and reached over his desk.

"McCoy here"

A couple of seconds passed and there was no answer. McCoy stretched himself further and leaned right into the microphone.

"McCoy here" he grumbled louder. Still no answer. He exhaled angrily and hung up. Must have been a fault or something.

He was about to sit back when the communicator noise went off again. He slammed his hand down on the buzzer and yelled "This is sickbay, you have reached Doctor L McCoy's sickbay, now what the hell do you want? The communicator is not a-"

"Doctor." Came a familiar unemotional voice. McCoy sighed, "What is it Spock?"

"I apologise for the.." There was a pause, "..silence"

"S'lright, do you need something? I'm kinda taking a break here"

"I believe that I have accidentally consumed something that does not work well with my bodily functions"

"What the hell is that supposed to mean Spock?"

"I have eaten something that does not agree with me and now I fear I am dying"

There was a long pause, and if Spock could listen closely, there was the unmistakable sound of McCoy laughing his ass off from a distance, probably hoping he couldn't hear.

"This is not a laughing matter, doctor" Spock had a hint of frustration in his voice.

"Spock, what in the hell could you possibly eat that would kill you?"

"I am unsure. I was not looking, thus my choice of the words 'accidentally consumed' at the beginning of this conversation"

"Spock, listen, you're not going to die because you didn't see what you just ate, alright? Just relax" he paused, waiting for a complaint, but there was none. "It might not be logical to not know what you just ate, but let it go. T'was probably a sandwich or some replicated slop" and with that, McCoy ended the transmission and allowed himself to sit back in his chair.

"How long we been in warp Mr Sulu?" The Captain asked, back in the bridge.

"About 10 minutes sir, we're cutting it close" the helmsman replied. Kirk shifted in his chair, and cranned his neck. As he did so, the turbolift doors opened, and out came Spock.

"Where'd you go?" Jim Kirk beamed at his first science officer. The Vulcan twisted his hands behind his back and stopped mid-walk.

"As I said before I left, the matter is private to me" he replied, continuing to walk again to his post. Jim shrugged it off and turned his attention back to the ship.

"Cut down to warp 3, we should make it to the crystals in time"

"Aye aye sir" and the ship was jolted around a bit while the warp factor was slowed. Jim reached to his communicator. "Kirk to McCoy, get up to the bridge, I need a landing party"

It took 1 minute for the doctor to appear, looking grouchy as ever.

"So much for my break" he grumbled, hoping the Captain could hear and offer him shore leave.

"Sorry Bones, I don't pay you for-"

 _ **CRASH**_

Kirk looked up at the crew. Everything seemed fine. The ship hadn't moved.

"What was that?" he asked them sceptically, beginning to think someone had dropped something. He looked down and eyed the floor for broken objects. All he saw was green liquid, probably came from a bottle of alcoholic beverages.

"Spock? Who said this stuff was allowed on the bridge?" he turned to Spock's post, who wasn't there.

"Not like him to-"

Then it twigged.

" _Bones!_ " Jim suddenly shouted in alarm, running to the source of the green liquid. Sure enough, there was a pile of Vulcan on the floor. There was a wound on his head, must have hit it on the fall, hence the green liquid. McCoy wasted no seconds running over as he suddenly realised the same thing, kneeling down to the half-conscious Vulcan.

"Damn it Spock.." he muttered, jabbing his friend in the shoulder with a hypo.

"Doctor.." he slurred, trying to focus on him.

"This what you called me about earlier?" He rubbed his face in his hands. "I'm sorry, I had no idea you were injured, just thought you were being stupid again, you know?"

"I completely.." he sucked in a breath, "...understand, doctor"

McCoy's left eyebrow shot up when Spock didn't defend himself for being called stupid. He was about to ask him if he heard what he said properly, when he watched the Vulcan's eyes roll back in his head, the tension in his shoulders falling flat.

"Damn it man, stay with me!" McCoy shook him a little, then took out another hypo from his med kit.

"Good thing you got me down here Jim" the doctor remarked.

"I uh.." Kirk was speechless from the whole situation playing out in front of him. "Please just help him, Bones" he said quietly. McCoy didn't reply and jabbed the hypo into his friend's neck.

"That should wake him up" he turned to look behind him, seeing Uhura, Kirk, Chekov and Sulu all staring him down. He made a look to Jim that just read "get-these-damned-people-back-to-work-before-they-get-what-spock-is-getting"

The Captain gave a slight nod and turned to his crew.

"Back to work guys" he said a little louder than intended, trying to sound in control. They quietly returned to their stations, leaving Kirk, McCoy and Spock on their own.

Kirk and McCoy were exchanging worried glances when the Captain's eyes grew wide and nudged McCoy to look at the Vulcan. He was awake now, although looked absolutely caked with fear. It was truly something none of them had seen from the usually impassive man.

"Hey, hey, easy" McCoy gently pushed Spock down, and flipped open his communicator. "This is McCoy to sickbay, I need a gurney over in the bridge like, now" he tucked it away quickly and went digging in his medical kit for a light sedative.

"What you gotten yourself into now, huh?" Jim joked with the Vulcan, although his tone was full of worry.

"I.." Spock found himself unable to speak, staring up at McCoy in panic.

"It's alright, this is normal" he said to him calmly, reading his vitals on a PADD. "I think you're having a panic attack" he explained, placing the device down and feeling Spock's forehead with the back of his hand. Sure enough he was feverish, his temperature was too high, even for Vulcan standards.

"This reaction is not normal, doctor"  
"'Course it's normal Spock, a panic attack can happen, 'especially after what you've been through"  
The Vulcan paused.  
"I am half human, half Vulcan"  
"Yeah Spock I'm well aware of that"  
"Therefore I should not be experiencing this emo-" He was stopped mid-sentence by his uncooperative respiratory system and let out a loud wheeze. McCoy quickly reacted and gripped the Vulcan's shirt firmly.

"Hey hey, it's alright, take it easy there" McCoy then caught the Captain giving him a worried glance. While he was looking..

"Jim, where the hell is the stretcher at?"

Kirk bashed his hand down on a button. "Captain Kirk to Chapel, where's that stretcher at nurse?"

He waited for a reply, but there was none.

"Kirk to Chapel, come in Chapel"

Still no response.

"Nothing" Jim stated to McCoy, who was watching him. The doctor shook his head in frustration.

"Alright, Jim get over here"

With quicker pace than usual, Jim hurried over and knelt down on the floor with McCoy.

"Okay Jim," McCoy handed the Captain a hypo and some vials. "I'm gonna find out what's going on, stay here with pointy and if he gets worse, stab him with that" he commanded, gesturing towards the hypospray.

Jim nodded. "You got it Bones" he smiled, although that faded to a frown when he turned to face Spock who had his eyes closed.

"He's just sleeping Jim, let him"

Again the Captain nodded, and ushered the doctor towards the lift.

McCoy sped off down the hallways, shouting for Chapel in case she was stuck somewhere. He tried the communicator again.

"Damn it Chapel where are you?" he spoke into the communicator. No answer. He rolled his eyes and continued walking.

Then the communicator went off.

"This is Chapel to McCoy, I'm sorry, the power went out on deck 2 briefly and my communicator stopped working"

McCoy grunted. "Yeah, well get to the bridge quickly" he grumbled, turning on his heel in the other direction.

"Captain, I believe I am fit for duty now"

Jim's eyes shot up and darted over the Vulcan's figure, noting he looked absolutely not fit for duty.

"Spock, you're awake!" he tried to sound surprised. "But uh, no, not yet, we gotta get McCoy to confirm you're well enough"

Spock tried to sit up, expression full of determination and confusion.

"Jim, I must urge you to allow me to-"

"No, Spock" he looked him dead in the eye, while pushing him gently back down. He tried to get up again.

"Captain, I want to return at least to part time dut.." he trailed off, staring blankly into nowhere. Kirk picked up on that.

"Spock? You okay?"

The Vulcan fell backwards again with a plonk and started hyperventilating.

"Ah, shit.." Kirk cursed under his breath, placing a hand on his friend's shoulder and rubbing his back with the other.

"It's alright, just keep breathing slowly" he reminded him, glancing down at the communicator attached to his belt. He jumped when Spock's hands were around his throat.

"Put me back on Duty, Captain" the Vulcan said very shakily. Uhura was watching the whole ordeal, making eye contact with Jim, she nodded to him and called McCoy's communicator, muting the output.

"McCoy here, what's going on?" was what the bridge was supposed to hear, although the sound was muted on the bridge so Spock wouldn't know. Uhura didn't answer him, just left the microphone levels on full hoping the good doctor would hear what was being said.

"What's going on?" McCoy's muted voice repeated.

"Spock, I can't put you on duty, you know that" Jim told him calmly, although let out a choke when the grip around his neck tightened.

"I will not.. tolerate this.. treatment, Captain" the Vulcan angrily replied, his hands were sweating and Jim could both feel and see it.

"Spock.." Jim paused, knowing McCoy was listening. "Please let go.. of my neck" he stuttered, vision blurring, waving his arms around. McCoy heard the conversation and grew concerned.

"Jim? What's happening?" Then he realised what was going on.

"I'm gonna be right there" he said, running back to the turbo lift with haste. "And tell Jim to stab the damn Vulcan with those hypos!"

On the receiving end, Uhura had just about heard McCoy through her own communication device. Looking at Jim, there was no way that he would be able to grab the hypo and stab Spock with it.

"Spock, I'll put you on..duty.. just let go of.." then the whole bridge fell silent as there was a loud thump, Jim having passed out from oxygen deprivation.

Spock instantly was forced into reality, and once again started to panic.

" _Oh_ " he breathed, whipping his head around the room, then staring back at Jim.

"No," he stumbled sideways and fell over. Mr Sulu exchanged knowing looks with Uhura, he stood up and confidently strode over. Uhura com'd McCoy again.

"McCoy here, I'm in the turbolift, everything alright?"

"Doctor McCoy, I'm afraid that the Captain has passed out, Spock strangled him" she said quietly, not believing the words herself. Just then, the lift doors opened and McCoy came storming out, running over to the Captain and checking him with a tricorder.

"Damn it, why did no-one hypo the Vulcan bastard?" he hissed. Sulu was standing behind Spock with a phaser pointed at him. He doubted he would actually do anything to him, but even the threat of being stunned seemed to keep the Vulcan quiet.

"Is he going to be okay?" Uhura's voice broke the silence. McCoy sighed and looked up to her.

"Should be fine, if Spock here kept strangling him even after he'd passed out, then he'd be in trouble, but he didn't, so.." he ran another test on Jim with a tricorder, and patted his shoulder. "Just needs some TLC" he stood up and turned to the Vulcan, staring daggers into him. If looks could kill..

"As for you," he began, under his breath. The room was tense, it was obvious McCoy was struggling to keep his temper with him. Just then, the turbolift doors hissed and Chapel came barging out, finally, with a stretcher.

"About time!" McCoy shouted, gesturing her to Spock. "Bring the Vulcan idiot to sickbay, I want all the tests you can get your hands on and a psych evaluation" he told the nurse. Chapel nodded, smiling towards Spock who was.. shaking? "Actually, take Jim first, he needs it more than Spock right now, I'll stay with him." he stood up and smiled to Spock for reassurance. "Just put Jim on oxygen and he'll be right as rain in a few hours"  
Chapel nodded, hauling Jim up onto a stretcher carefully.  
"Come back for Spock afterwards" McCoy added, who was starting to walk towards the shaking Vulcan out of empathy. Spock saw him.

"Doctor.." he breathed, turning slowly to him, "What is happening to me?"

"I dunno yet Spock, that's what we're gonna try to find out" the doctor replied calmly. The Vulcan didn't even try to hide his emotion showing in his face.  
"Doctor, I have hurt Jim" Spock whispered, looking unusually distraught.  
"I know, Spock," McCoy spun his head round, wanting to make sure that Jim had already been taken out the room. "But that wasn't you, like I said earlier, you've been through a lot."  
Spock simply looked down to his feet. McCoy couldn't help but feel sorry for him.

"Doctor? We're ready for Spock now" Chapel called through the turbolift doors. McCoy nodded to her, then turned to Spock, placing a firm hand on his shoulder.  
"Come on you, I'll go with ya" he hauled him to his feet and helped him get to the nurse.  
"Doctor, it is unnecessary for you to come with me" Spock stated, slowing his pace. McCoy chuckled to himself.  
"Well, you're stuck with me, pointy" he nudged him in the side. "I'm the chief medical officer, and I'm not gonna be any help if I'm just standing around in here looking pretty am I?"  
"A logical observation doctor, very well" Spock went along with it, continuing to walk to the turbolift.  
They went inside, McCoy still keeping his firm grip on Spock. He might have regained control of his posture and emotions, but that doesn't mean he's not gonna go crumbling down any moment now like earlier. Spock swayed a little, McCoy gently pulled him back, not saying anything, since it'll probably piss off the Vulcan more than he already is. Spock wants to be seen as calm and in control, the last thing he needs is people telling him that he's still in need of their help, as much as he needs it.

"Alright Spock!" Chapel happily chimed, leading him to a biobed. The Vulcan simply stared at it. McCoy rolled his eyes and pulled him aside, tugging the biobed upright so he could step onto it.  
"Lie down" he ordered him gruffly. Spock slightly turned his head towards the doctor and raised an eyebrow. There wasn't anything wrong, he just didn't want to look vulnerable right now, and didn't want to admit it. He had to look strong. He was Spock.  
McCoy sighed, looking at Chapel, shrugging his head at Spock and the bed. Chapel directed him to the biobed, losing her gentle grip a little. Spock yanked his arms away from Chapel and backed away from the bed. He knew that resisting was illogical, he knew that he probably looked _really stupid_ and McCoy would take the piss out him later, but for now – _he was not getting on that bed_.

"Spock.." McCoy began, trying to find the words on what to say. He was considering just yelling at him and dragging him onto the bed. Or maybe hypoing him so he could do it against his will. But instead;  
"Spock, there is nothing self-deprecating about getting a simple check-up. If anything, it'll show that you're tougher, rather than people knowing that you backed out of something as normal as this. Don't you think?" McCoy tried to use his psychology expertise to get through to the Vulcan.  
"But it is not a simple check-up, doctor" Spock replied, keeping his distance from him. "You do not want to run only one of an elementary scan and then let me go. You want to further analyse my psych, and I do not find this… desirable"  
McCoy rubbed his hands against his face and exhaled quietly. "Alright, well don't you think it would be more _admirable_ to people to see you at your best, and not in the mentality that you're in now?" he offered to him. "Don't you think that if the crew found you in the state you were in before, gossip about you would start spreading around the ship? How do you feel about _that_ , Spock?"

The Vulcan seemed to consider this for a moment, and then inclined his head.  
"Your logic is sound doctor." He turned to Chapel. "Further, I will comply, but only because it makes sense to" he stepped onto the biobed, swatting away hands that tried to help steady him. He was doing this _only_ because he had to, he didn't need help!  
"Good choice" McCoy smirked, pulled the biobed backwards so it was straight again. He looked up at the readings and furrowed his brow. The Vulcan's pulse and heart rate were abnormally high. They were symptoms of discomfort or even another panic attack. He looked down at Spock's face and tried to tell whether it was the latter.  
"You alright there?" he asked in a strangely gentle tone.  
"I am functional, doctor"  
"No, I mean…ugh" he shook his head in frustration, then looked back to him. "I _mean_ , are you _feeling_ okay?"  
"I do not feeling anything, doctor" his voice cracked at 'anything', maintaining an emotionless expression.  
"Spock-"  
"Bones" came a faint voice from Jim. McCoy looked up to find Jim staring at him from another bed. He gave Chapel the look of don't-let-spock-out-of-your-sight and walked to Jim, not looking him in the eye.  
"Jim," McCoy acknowledged, taking a quick glance at the Captain's positively looking charts. "How are ya?" he smiled, walking beside him.  
"Feeling better Bones." He looked up to the doctor. "Any lasting damage?"  
"Apart from your dignity when you passed out, nah" he flung his hand down and scoffed.  
"What's with Spock?" Jim asked, who was now looking at him.  
"Ah, well after his attack on you, we brought him in to check him over"  
Jim laughed.  
"Not liking it very much I take it?"  
"No, well you know Spock, stubborn asshole, he is" then he closed his eyes for a second to prepare to ask his friend the next question. "What was he saying to you, Jim? He sounded like he was seeing red"  
"He wanted to be put back on duty, I wouldn't let him, he attacked me.."  
"Hmm" McCoy nodded, gave him a smirk and walked back to Spock.

"Spock," he began, waiting for the Vulcan to make some kind of effort to tell him he was listening. He opened his eyes briefly. "Your outburst on Jim-"  
"I do not wish to talk about it, doctor."  
" _Spock_ , your outburst on Jim," he stared intensely at him, letting him know he was going to finish his sentence. "Were you trying to distract yourself from your building emotions, and you just absolutely burst when he kept refusing you?"  
Spock glanced sideways, McCoy watched as the Vulcan's fingers tensed up.  
"I… believe that is a respectable observation, doctor" he replied quietly.  
"So your emotions just continued building until you burst" the doctor stated.  
"I beg to differ, doctor" Spock suddenly looked very puzzled. "I did not in fact, as you say, burst."  
McCoy sniggered and turned away. "It's an idiom Spock, you…" he sighed. "Ah, it doesn't matter."  
Spock looked up at him tiredly, not saying anything to that.  
"Doctor, I would like to sleep now, if I may" he watched impatiently as McCoy's expression looked as if he was about to say something. "I must ask if this, 'psych' evaluation can wait until tomorrow"  
McCoy came back up to his bedside and smirked. "It's alright Spock, I believe I just gave you one"  
Spock sighed, and if McCoy didn't know better, it was a sigh of _relief_.  
"I confess that I am positively content with that remark, doctor"  
"Yeah? That's good. Rest, we'll deal with the rest tomorrow" he told him, patting his shoulder. "Like your apparent food poisoning, for example"

Spock squinted, but rolled onto his side and attempted relaxation. Perhaps it was time to finally meditate.


End file.
